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Another glance at the mail. “Was kindly invited to attend the match today by my friend Hugo who is a season ticket holder,” says Colum Fordham, “but was unable to make it. After reading the MBM so far, sounds like Fulham thoroughly deserved to draw level and obviously chuffed for my friend. Heard Højlund is on his way to Napoli (my neck of the woods). Hope he emulates McTominay who was superb in Napoli’s opener vs Sassuolo. Leave Utd and thrive!”
Lave Arsenal and thrive too. Iwobi was superb today and Smith Rowe scored as soon as he ran onto the pitch.
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FULL TIME! Fulham 1-1 Man United
So it ends in a draw, which is a touch harsh on Fulham. They were really good for the last 75 minutes. United have only themselves to blame for not doing more after the VAR was kind to them, allowing a questionable goal and handing them a penalty that Bruno Fernandes, in a tribute to Bobby Zamora, could only smash into Row Z.
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90+4 min Up the other end, Cunha puts in a good cross that nobody can convert. The next long throw will come from Dalot, who at least manages to clear the first man. Dorgu sends a nice chip into the box for Mbeumo, who can’t connect with his bicycle kick. Faint signs of life from United, but there’s only 30 seconds left…
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90+3 min Robinson, who played a part in the goal, can sniff an assist as he feeds Smith Rowe, whose flick is blocked. From the resulting corner, Maguire stops Andersen getting a header.
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90+1 min United clear the free kick and win a throw upfield. Dorgu tries a long one – not long enough, easily nodded away.
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90 min Fulham have turned into Man City as they used to be, tippy-tapping the ball around. They win a free kick on the right as Dorgu lunges in. There will be five added minutes.
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88 min United win a second corner, and they go close – yes, it’s Maguire, meeting Mbeumo’s ball with that magnificent foreheard of his, but going just wide.
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86 min Sesko makes a contribution, shuttling over to the left wing to help Dorgu and Fernandes. The red shirts do enough to draw a foul from Lukic, which earns him a yellow.
United have a corner and they throw on some more subs: Maguire for Shaw, Heaven for Yoro. Two centre-backs! Though Maguire may be a second striker.
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84 min As it stands, Fulham are 14th with two points, United are 17th with one. And Fulham are all over them again. Tete is again in acres – how does that happen? – and luckily for United he can’t find a team mate. Maybe it’s a cunning plan.
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82 min A caption lists the most goals by subs for PL teams since the start of last season. Fulham top the table with 19 – a third of their 56 goals in that time. Meanwhile, Benjamin Sesko has barely had a meaningful touch.
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81 min Fulham bossing it in United’s box. Tete floors Dorgu and finds himself in so much space that he can’t decide what to do next, so his cross finds a United head.
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79 min Dalot, who’s been good at going forward, has a nice one-two with Mbeumo, but then spoils it with a heavy touch.
The shot count, which was 0-4 to United at one stage, is now 12-9 to Fulham.
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78 min Jimenez goes close! Fulham can smell blood.
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75 min Time for a glance at the mail. “Would the MBM ever post an email that has positives about United?” asked James Kelly, when they were 1-0 up. “Won’t hold my breath.” The main criterion is whether it’s a good point, not what side it comes down on.
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74 min Emile Smith Rowe scored after being on the field for a minute and a half. It was a goal made at Arsenal.
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GOAL! Fulham 1-1 Man United (Smith Rowe 73)
Instant impact! Assist by Iwobi, neat volley by Smith Rowe … mistakes by Dalot and De Ligt.
Fulham’s Emile Smith Rowe scores their first goal. Photograph: Dylan Martinez/ReutersShare
Updated at 18.14 BST
71 min More Fulham subs! Jimenez for the unfortunate Muniz, Smith Rowe for the promising Josh King.
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70 min “Ruben Amorim,” sing the travelling fans, in recognition of the fact that he got away with 15 minutes without a defensive midfielder.
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69 min After Fulham’s 37th corner, Iwobi comes close with a shot from the edge of the box. Lots of swazz on it, but not quite enough. And here is Ugarte, replacing Mount.
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67 min Iwobi sees that gaffe and replicates it. But Amorim surely needs to put Ugarte or Mainoo on to cramp Iwobi’s style.
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65 min Good work from Dalot on the United right as he finds Sesko, who tries a quick flick to Dorgu … which goes straight out.
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62 min Replays show that Yoro’s header was actually going wide, so he doesn’t have a PL goal, and Muniz (og) goes on the scoresheet instead.
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62 min Fulham subs! Antonee Robinson takes over from the exemplary Sessegnon, and Harry Wilson replaces Timothy Castagne, who was a surprise pick on the right side of midfield.
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60 min So United have finally scored after 150 minutes of this season. If the goal is credited to Yoro, it will be his first in the Premier League. And he had just saved the day at the other end.
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GOAL! Fulham 0-1 Man United (Yoro 58)
And the height has it! Leny Yoro, in the six-yard box, gets a neat firm header which picks up a deflection on its way into the net. Not unlike Martinez last year … but did Yoro give Bassey an illicit push…? No, says the VAR.
Leny Yoro of Manchester United scores the opening goal. Photograph: Charlotte Wilson/Offside/Getty ImagesShare
Updated at 17.56 BST
57 min We have a collector’s item: a United corner, won by Dalot with a left-foot cross. Neville notes that United have more height now, with Dalot and Sesko.
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55 min I’m trying to work out who’s playing where for United. I think Mount has dropped back to join Fernandes in centre-mid, which surely means United will be even more open than they were with Casemiro. Cunha has moved to inside-left, which is his natural habitat, and Sesko is up top, wondering what kind of club he has just joined.
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54 min Josh King is almost through … but Leny Yoro does just enough to win the ball without getting a red card. One gifted teenager dealing with another.
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53 min United subs! Dalot for Amad, to fix that leak at right-back; and Sesko for Casemiro. That’s an interesting one.
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52 min Yet another Fulham corner. Lukic curls it in and Andersen heads wide, before going mad because the ref hasn’t spotted a deflection from Luke Shaw.
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50 min Sessegnon and Iwobi are giving United some more grief. Marco Silva may have mentioned at half-time that United have two left-backs and no right-back.
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48 min Better from Fernandes, who covers most of the field playing give-and-go with various team mates. Dorgu wins a corner which ends up with a shot from Amad – left foot from the right, saved by Leno.
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46 min United kick off and venture forward without achieving much. Sessegnon, so purposeful in the first half, retorts with a run down the left and a rather wayward cross.
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“United have started the season,” says Justin Kavanagh, “with keepers they probably won’t keep; a system that has failed them systemically; and an open audition for a false nine, despite signing an €85m striker who is currently homeless, it seems. It’s also beginning to look like they might have a manager who can’t manage.”
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“United having tons of chances and missing the lot is something us Arsenal fans can definitely relate to,” says Kieran McKintosh. “The remedy? A striker. This game has a 1-0 win, Sesko scoring the only goal, written all over it. (Mind you, I wouldn’t be surprised if he misses a chance, Fulham go up the other end and finish the job either.)
“Would also be nice to see Mainoo get a chance for once. He’d definitely be a bit fresher than Fernandes.”
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“United seem to be asking the question: can football be played without a midfield?” says Norrie Hermon. “They’re either attacking or being attacked!
“They look like the most open team in the Prem, and a good bet both to concede and score quite a few this year.”
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“How is that a penalty?” says Shaun T. “I mean, if Mount doesn’t run into him first, fair enough – but he does, so the defending lad [Bassey] throws him off.
“There’ll be 10-20 penalties per game if they stick to things like that.”
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“Casual sports fan from the States,” says William Terzin. “Never mind their history. United is a joke of a club. I’m from Cincinnati [Bengals/NFL]. I know a joke when I see one.
“Please, punish the owners in a way American football will never be able to. Relegate United!!”
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Time for an email. “I began watching the PL a decade or 2 ago,” says Mary Waltz, “and was mentored by a Bit expat who was a massive MU fan. They would sign Pogba-style players and I would say surely a title is coming. He would grimace and say ‘No. Our midfield sucks.’ He still is singing the same song.”
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Half-time! Fulham 0-0 Man United
As nil-nils go, it’s been entertaining. United bossed it for the first 15 minutes but since then it’s been mostly Fulham, controlling the midfield and winning one corner after another. Fernandes’ awful penalty sums up United’s season so far: they just can’t find the net.
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45+2 min United’s turn for a set piece. Fernandes lobs it in but can’t find a red shirt. He has had a half to forget.
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45+1 min The corner unsettles Altay, again, and Fulham have a couple more shots to add to their collection. They now lead that table by 8-6.
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Updated at 17.17 BST
45 min There will be two more minutes, when there should be at least five.
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43 min Fulham win a free kick on their right wing. Lukic sends it sideways to Muniz, whose bicycle kick would be spectacular if he actually connected with it.
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43 min Fernandes, on the ball, is so busy waving his arms to give directions to the United forwards that he allows his pocket to be picked. Amorim may have to do the unthinkable, some time in the second half, and take him off.
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40 min Suddenly it’s all happening again. United pile forward and Casemiro gets a yellow card, for reasons that are not clear. Then Fulham barrel into the box and Sessegnon forces Altay to punch the ball behind. At the corner, Altay looks as feeble as he did against Arsenal.
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39 min That was a shocker. Ruben Amorim couldn’t bear to watch:it was almost as if he’d seen it coming. It was so unlike Fernandes, who abandoned his hop, skip and cool pass into the corner.
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Fernandes misses the penalty!
Bruno Fernandes goes high, wide and ugly!
Manchester United’s Bruno Fernandes misses a penalty kick. Photograph: Dylan Martinez/ReutersFernandes reacts. Photograph: Matthew Childs/Action Images/ReutersShare
Updated at 17.13 BST
Penalty to United!
The ref takes his time… and gives a pen.
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34 min United can’t do anything with the resulting corner, though the VAR is looking at a potential foul by Bassey, who bundled Mount to the ground… and the ref is sent to the monitor!
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Updated at 17.05 BST
33 min Better from United as Mount sends Fernandes into the box. His cross is well blocked by Bassey.
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32 min No sooner have I said that than Lukic plays a simple pass straight out of play.
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30 min The game is one-third over and Fulham are now looking the more comfortable of the two sides, with their midfield in control, although United have been dangerous on the break.
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29 min Shaw and Dorgu get in each other’s way near the half-way line. Amorim’s ploy of playing two left-backs and two right-wingers has not been a roaring success so far.
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28 min For his next trick Fernandes tries a big switch to Dorgu, which sails out, much to the delight of the home fans.
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