I had my eldest child when I was 19, and being a young mum can be tricky – I was used to feeling judged by other people in public.
One evening, I was on a crowded train home in Melbourne at peak hour, which is also witching hour for toddlers. My two-year-old son just started losing it, so I was distracting him with silly noises and games. It was largely working and he was mostly laughing and squealing with delight. I registered that it was annoying some passengers, but the alternative would have been much louder and annoying for us all. Making matters worse, no one offered me a seat, so we were standing up and bumping into other people, who were getting pissed off.
I was close to tears when an older lady moved forward and stood next to me. She was there for a while and could see I was getting very stressed out. Right at the point where I felt like the train would keep going forever, she put her hand on my arm and said: “You’re doing a great job.”
It was so nice to hear. Those words of encouragement made a stressful situation a lot more bearable and have always stuck with me. I’ve no doubt she was a mother herself.
I’m a midwife now and often when I see mums on the edge of the abyss, I think of that woman and try to share her kindness. I tell them: “Your baby’s loved and fed – you’re doing good.” Mums don’t hear that enough – in the public eye, mothers are under a lot of scrutiny, far more than fathers. I know first-hand how much a word of encouragement can turn the day around, and make things feel a little bit easier.
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